Wednesday, September 21, 2005

'My NHL' ... is having problems

Does anyone have the foggiest idea how this is supposed to sell the NHL?

Watch the commercial, stare in awe at its absurdity and bury your head in your hands. That, unfortunately, is the only appropriate response to what is, unfortunately, a "five-part story" that will capture "hockey's intensity, drama and power."

Unfortunately ... and there's that word again ... what we have is 15 seconds of garbage portraying hockey players as samurai warriors (or some other such nonsense). All we need is a Tom Cruise cameo, complete with Scientology-based musings.

The clip begins with a quote from Sun Tzu, author of the Art of War (now there's a message for the kiddies). And we've got the battle music, lifted straight from Lord of the Rings... although I'm guessing this Hollywood extra they've got strapped into his Reeboks — my mistake, RBKs — wouldn't fare so well against any Robyn Regehr-like orcs.

At least he's got his trusty equipment manager, a svelte knockout who apparently doesn't mind sharpening skates in her undergarments. She also makes a whooshing noise and appears to fly, making me think parts three through five will involve some sort of an exorcism.

"Ready," she coos to her dough-headed hulk of a player, which apparently is what flicks the on-switch for robo-skater to spring into action. Well, that and a candle-lit dressing room to set the mood.

And didn't we agree after Sept. 11 that we wouldn't call pro athletes heroes anymore?
he·ro Audio pronunciation of "heroes" )Pronunciation Key (hîr)
n. pl. he·roes
  1. In mythology and legend, a man, often of divine ancestry, who is endowed with great courage and strength, celebrated for his bold exploits, and favored by the gods.
Sounds like Jaromir Jagr to me.

I bet the league dropped $10-million on these re-damn-diculous things — which means it's time for a ticket increase!

Just drop the puck already Gary.

UPDATE: Here's the full video here, courtesy of Andrew's Stars blog.

7 Comments:

At 1:53 AM, September 22, 2005, Anonymous David Johnson said...

I don't know about your but my NHL doesn't include marketing fluff.

One of the reasons other leagues are so successful is because they promote players and personalities. I don't see any of that here. Why not promote Forsberg making an awsome cross ice pass to a team mate who one times it into the top corner of the net. Why not promote Chris Pronger pounding someone into the boards or Byran McCabe hip checking someone at center ice. Where's Martin Brodeur making a fabulous glove save or Rob Blake dropping to the ice to block a slap shot from the blue line. That's what hockey is all about, not some over dramatic dressing room scene with some blond bimbo putting pads on some anonymous player.

 
At 4:02 AM, September 22, 2005, Anonymous Risto said...

Apparently, the spots tested well among the 14-19-year-old girl segment, although they did want more romance in the movie. So, Part Four - The Victory - will be reshot to include more of the knockout we saw in Part One - It's Time.

 
At 6:07 AM, September 22, 2005, Blogger Wynn Williamson said...

Yeah, this is garbage. They should promoting players. I don't know who they are trying to attract with this. I guess other sports put out similar garbage, but not as its core promotion. A lot of the changes will be very positive and make the game more interesting. They should be communicating that.

 
At 9:30 AM, September 22, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

News flash, guys -- this isn't for us, because they know we'll be watching anyway. In fact, they know we'll hate it, but they don't really care. This is for that mythical "casual fan" residing south of the 49th. It's cold comfort, I know, but they do the same things to dress up the NFL, and it enrages hard core football fans as much as this kind of fluff angers us.

 
At 11:27 AM, September 22, 2005, Blogger ninja said...

Never trust anyone who blinks that often.

 
At 1:25 PM, September 23, 2005, Blogger Sacred Cow said...

I think the ad campaign looks great and I think it will capture the attention of non-NHL fans. That's who they are after, not you and me. We are huge NHL fans, the kind that watch every game, read every article and even create our own blogs about our favorite teams. They've got our money and loyalty. They are trying to reach the people that just like sports, or who would like hockey if they ever got turned on to it. This is not for the folks in Canada, but for the folks here in America. If they show these ads in a movie theater, I think it will work. It will capture peoples attention and imagination and they'll think "that looks really cool" and maybe next time they are channel surfing and nothing is on they will tune in to an NHL game. Hopefully they like it and the NHL gets a new fan.

If nothing else, these ads will be memorable and that, above all else, is the point of advertising. Remember, there's no such thing as bad publicity.

SacredCow

 
At 11:31 PM, September 23, 2005, Anonymous pemulis said...

The ads are garbage. Didn't the NFL have to do some major back peddling for a similar stunt just a little while ago? Besides, all those candles are really going to confuse the casual fan.

 

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