'My NHL' ... is having problems
Does anyone have the foggiest idea how this is supposed to sell the NHL?
Watch the commercial, stare in awe at its absurdity and bury your head in your hands. That, unfortunately, is the only appropriate response to what is, unfortunately, a "five-part story" that will capture "hockey's intensity, drama and power."
Unfortunately ... and there's that word again ... what we have is 15 seconds of garbage portraying hockey players as samurai warriors (or some other such nonsense). All we need is a Tom Cruise cameo, complete with Scientology-based musings.
The clip begins with a quote from Sun Tzu, author of the Art of War (now there's a message for the kiddies). And we've got the battle music, lifted straight from Lord of the Rings... although I'm guessing this Hollywood extra they've got strapped into his Reeboks — my mistake, RBKs — wouldn't fare so well against any Robyn Regehr-like orcs.
At least he's got his trusty equipment manager, a svelte knockout who apparently doesn't mind sharpening skates in her undergarments. She also makes a whooshing noise and appears to fly, making me think parts three through five will involve some sort of an exorcism.
"Ready," she coos to her dough-headed hulk of a player, which apparently is what flicks the on-switch for robo-skater to spring into action. Well, that and a candle-lit dressing room to set the mood.
And didn't we agree after Sept. 11 that we wouldn't call pro athletes heroes anymore?
he·ro )Pronunciation Key (hîr)Sounds like Jaromir Jagr to me.
n. pl. he·roes
- In mythology and legend, a man, often of divine ancestry, who is endowed with great courage and strength, celebrated for his bold exploits, and favored by the gods.
I bet the league dropped $10-million on these re-damn-diculous things — which means it's time for a ticket increase!
Just drop the puck already Gary.
UPDATE: Here's the full video here, courtesy of Andrew's Stars blog.