Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Simmons on the draft

A rare foray into hockey blogging for ESPN's wunderkind:
Chicago GM Dale Tallon is "proud" to introduce tiny Patrick Kane as his No. 1 pick. This kid looks like an altar boy. I'm not kidding -- he actually looks like an altar boy. I hope his tremendous upside potential involves puberty. More importantly, what the hell happened to the NHL? As if things weren't already bad enough, the league's No. 1 overall pick is an undersized American who looks like the third singer in a boy band? Can we start sending them FEMA money or something?
I didn't catch TSN's television coverage, but based on past experience, I'm guessing Simmons's live blog rates far higher on the entertainment scale than what was actually shown (despite the fact it was apparently posted three days later).

I'm as big a hockey nut as there is, but boy does that make for a few trying hours. It's a good thing they moved it to prime time on Friday night, when, you know, no one has anything to do.


At 7:51 AM, June 26, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Im a big Simmons fan. His NBA Draft diary columns are legendary. But, this NHL Draft column was horrible. Not entertaining in the least. He should keep to subject matter he has a remote knowledge of. He cam off sounded like a pompous ass.

At 8:00 AM, June 26, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

excuse the grammer in my last sentence. WOW!

At 11:21 AM, June 26, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Agreed. Simmons comes across like a big jerk in this article. It's a throwaway piece - he didn't even bother to finish watching the show.

I didn't appreciate his cheap shots at the game, the players, or Canadians. Hockey players are the classiest athletes around - I guess he'd rather they all have entourages and talk in a nauseating 3rd-person perspective, reeking of self-importance?

At 12:52 PM, June 26, 2007, Blogger sager said...

I was in a situation where I couldn't avoid watching the draft. I had a splitting headache before 3-plus hour of Pierre McGuire.

At 2:09 PM, June 26, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Simmons is just brutal. It's the same joke over and over. I'm shocked that there was no reference to Tecmo Bo Jackson or the Red Sox. He's just annoying. Perfect "blogger" for ESPN. Do they even cover hockey anymore?

Have you ever heard this guy speak? He sounds like a male version of Kathy Ireland. Kane may look like he's 12, but Simmons sounds like he's the one stuck in puberty.

At 3:14 PM, June 26, 2007, Blogger Iffy said...

Apparently in the minority, I actually quite enjoyed the article. I did watch the draft and Simmons account is surprisingly accurate. Thanks!

At 3:30 PM, June 26, 2007, Anonymous er said...

his jokes are used over and over but i appreciate his humor. yes, i don't like that he rags on hockey but who in america does not?

for those that were offended, keep in mind that he takes cheap shots at every single sport out there. as an american, i can't help but crack up when he makes fun of canadian's pronounciations of words.

he's a comedian in addition to being a sports fan. of course you have to take this draft diary with a grain of salt b/c he stopped following hockey many years ago.

At 9:32 PM, June 26, 2007, Anonymous Baroque said...

The article would have been better (and far less condescending) if he didn't keep harping on how he doesn't watch hockey, hasn't in years, and has no intention of starting watching hockey. We get it, okay? You can stop pointing out the obvious!

(Although his description of Pierre was dead on.)

At 1:20 AM, June 27, 2007, Blogger Stan the Caddy said...

I've never read the guy, but I found this description thoroughly entertaining. He had me laughing the whole way through. Maybe I'm a little less sensitive to the Canadian cracks since I used to live down south and I've heard it all before, but along with all the wise cracks, Simmons had a lot of very nice things to say about hockey and Canada. He was even kind enough to present them in list form at times.

I loved his jabs at Bettman. Good to know that people who don't even follow hockey anymore still know how much of a tool he is.

The only thing about his account that really bothered me was that he took Doug MacLean's ridiculous pronunciation of "kudos" as how all Canadians say it. I really wish someone on the panel had corrected him... or at least asked him not to say it five times. In hindsight I'm really glad Duthie didn't use the phrase "unfolding drama" to describe the Chereponov/Esposito situation as I'm sure Simmons would have added that one to the list as well. (Also, I was a little disappointed that his Canadian spelling ended with "defenceman")

All in all, I thought his descriptions were accurate, and pretty darn funny... if you're not too sensitive


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