Thursday, July 19, 2007

Paris Hilton's hockey career

Apparently wasn't all that impressive:
"That was quite the sight," said Hilton's teammate and Canterbury hockey captain Stacy Burns White, when asked about Paris' skill on ice. "I don't know I would say she skated well. She was not the sturdiest on her skates, as I'm sure it would be for anyone who hadn't skated before."
According to White, Paris was not an aggressive member of the junior varsity squad, rarely if ever smashing into fellow players.

"She was more concentrating on continuing to stand up – certainly not knocking people down unless it was by accident in case she fell."

White told WND that one day during practice, Hilton kept complaining her head was hurting. White thought there might be a problem with Paris' helmet, so she helped her take it off.

"When I removed her helmet, I saw she had a banana clip [keeping her hair in place]. They're rather big underneath the helmet. I told her, 'We need to take the banana clip out.' Paris responded, 'What am I supposed to do about my hair?'. She clearly didn't understand how this all worked."
Paris recently listed "ice hockey" as one of her secret talents; I'm guessing the real answers weren't fit for print.

Thanks to Pete for sending the link.


At 2:53 p.m., July 19, 2007, Anonymous Karina said...

Sounds about right.
And I'd say hockey is one of her talents... it's around the same level as her singing, at least.

At 3:11 p.m., July 19, 2007, Blogger jorach said...

I'd take a spearing penalty on her, if you know what I mean.

At 3:40 p.m., July 19, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

obligtory list of obvious comments:

- im sure she knows how to grip the shaft
- figures that she would be interested in a sport that involved "hooking"
- her 5-hole was likely too big to play goalie
- she's taken more hits to the face than Jenna Jameson (via Chris Rock)

Man, this is too easy.

At 3:45 p.m., July 19, 2007, Anonymous beingbobbyorr said...

"I would always move around, I wasn't just one position."

She certainly didn't show this on the famous videotape.

At 4:16 p.m., July 19, 2007, Anonymous Matt said...

Bahaha. So true. Good one!

At 5:00 p.m., July 19, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's hot.

At 10:08 p.m., July 19, 2007, Anonymous Danny said...

What exactly is her "profession" anyway?

At 10:34 p.m., July 19, 2007, Anonymous OrderedChaos said...

"I would always move around, I wasn’t just one position."

Alrighty then. "Paging Ron Jeremy. Ron Jeremy, you’re needed on the set."

A few Photoshopped images in the same vein (yes they're safe for work):

At 1:39 a.m., July 20, 2007, Anonymous Baroque said...

What exactly is her "profession" anyway?

Blonde airhead.

Or bimbo--she is multi-talented.


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