Wednesday, June 18, 2008

The Love Guru

Once again, presented without comment.

The film comes out on Friday and the reviews, so far, are horrible. I think I'll wait till it's out on video before deciding where it fits in the hockey movie pantheon.

(Likely somewhere around Mighty Ducks 3 and Most Valuable Primate...)

Greg Wyshynski has an interview with the film's hockey coordinator.



At 9:34 p.m., June 18, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anyone see Myers on Letterman the other night? There were a few wise cracks about the Leafs etc...

At 9:50 p.m., June 18, 2008, Blogger Eric McErlain said...

It's hard not to notice that the promoters of the movie are working hard to get hockey bloggers to post these clips, but not working very hard at all to give them passes to previews of the movie.

Guess we know all we need to know.

At 9:57 p.m., June 18, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That makes Freddy got fingered look like the Godfather.
Hey Mike, I see your future...It's voicing straight to video Shrek sequels.
tick tock, your time is up.

At 10:18 p.m., June 18, 2008, Blogger Peter Lynn said...

I'll certainly rank Most Valuable Primate 2 above The Love Guru, as it was written by a friend of mine, who named several characters after mutual friends, which at least gave those few people a compelling reason to see it in the theatre. As for The Love Guru, I couldn't bring myself to see it even if I personally appeared onscreen making out with Jessica Alba.

At 10:20 p.m., June 18, 2008, Blogger PJ Swenson said...

I will give it a shot, but only a 9% on Rotten Tomatoes? Damn. I have never seen a movie rated that low before.

At 10:22 p.m., June 18, 2008, Anonymous ken said...

>>I'll certainly rank Most Valuable Primate 2 above The Love Guru, as it was written by a friend of mine, <<

That's pretty cool. He must have got quite a thrill seeing his name up on the screen.

>> As for The Love Guru, I couldn't bring myself to see it even if I personally appeared onscreen making out with Jessica Alba.<<

About the only thing that COULD get me to see it is if I were onscreen making out with Jessica Alba. Or more.

At 10:53 p.m., June 18, 2008, Anonymous bakedziti said...

he's really going for fantasy here in his plot. first m.c. hammer (this dude played him in the VH1 movie) is playing hockey for the leafs and second the leafs win a cup.

and thank you for reminding me 'most valuable primate' exists.

At 11:45 p.m., June 18, 2008, Blogger Wyshynski said...

Now, now, now ... I can't do the full review thing until Friday, but let me say this: The ads don't do it justice. There are some laughs in it, but it's not exactly a hockey movie. The crowd I saw it with really enjoyed it.

A little self-pimp: I'm going to have an interview with Romany Malco of "40 Year Old Virgin" fame about the flick and hockey in general on Yahoo Thursday. The man has a lot to say about puck bunnies and Gary Bettman...

At 12:44 a.m., June 19, 2008, Anonymous TheTick said...

I might see it with free tickets, but there's no way I pay unless it's the second feature at the Drive-in. Won't mind falling asleep if there was a good movie first.

At 2:23 a.m., June 19, 2008, Blogger Jimmy Jazz said...

I'll skip this because: 1) Mike Myers is a washed up, overrated hack and 2) I can't bear to see the sport I love marred with 10,000 penis jokes and every other form of cheap, easy humor.
On the other hand, this will be the only Cup that Toronto wins in the next few decades, so I guess it can't all be so bad.

At 10:57 a.m., June 19, 2008, Blogger Jo4nny said...

While I go out of my way to avoid seeing "chick flicks", I think this movie would have been better if it was approached as a subtle romantic comedy featuring Myers as the Leafs owner (I bet he could do a great Ballard-like impression) in a small, almost cameo, appearance.

I've always found Myers better at playing reactionary or catalytic roles opposite genuinely good actors. This washed-down, fake accent, juvenile humour stuff just succeeds in sullying his reputation.

At 2:16 p.m., June 20, 2008, Anonymous Dr. Ted Baehr said...

THE LOVE GURU is funny, inspired, well connected, sexy, and often hilarious. It is unintentionally offensive. Hindus have gotten upset by the movie, but they've got problems anyways. Everyone who stars in it should be proud. There is a form of Hinduism, a religion with thousands of so-called gods, which makes obscenity and ridicule a religious virtue. There’s a form of Hinduism that makes sex a religious virtue. There’s a form of Hinduism that makes defecation a form of religious virtue. There is even a Hindu temple devoted to worshipping animals. Mike Myers combines all of these Hindu oddities and turns it into one obscene movie. It is AWESOME.

Guru Pitka, played by Myers, was the American child of missionaries, who was dropped off at an ashram in India to be raised by Guru Tugginmypuddha. The guru is also raising his rival, Deepak Chopra. While Chopra is interested in enlightenment, Pitka is interested in sex. The guru tells Pitka if he keeps pleasuring himself, he’s going to go cross-eyed, just like Tugginmypuddha. Glad I didn't!

Pitka’s rivalry with Chopra continues as an adult. He does not want to be the No. 2 guru in the world. He develops a wonderful version of Hindu teaching, telling people they have to go from “nowhere” to “Now Here”. The puns get better and better, and they basically revolve around self-love and self-realization in the tradition of Yogananda and the Maharishi Yogi whom Meyers credits with inspiring some of the movie.

Pitka’s manager, D. Pants, says he can get Pitka on the Oprah program if he brings a Toronto Maple Leaf (boo!) hockey player back together with his beloved wife. The owner of the Maple Leafs, Jane Bullard, will pay him several million dollars to do this. The star player, Darren, can no longer play because his wife, Prudence, has left him for a super-endowed L.A. Kings goalie.

This plot device is more than just a vehicle for one sex joke, defecation joke, blasphemous joke, homosexual joke after another. Just as Pitka’s psychobabble is wonderful, so is his approach to bringing Darren and Prudence back together. Pitka tells Darren that he must confront his mother, who’s an African American Baptist choir member and very, very black.

According to the production notes, Mike Myers got interested in Hinduism and Deepak Chopra when his father died. He says Chopra helped him, but in the process, he also found a lot of humor in Hinduism. Making fun of a religion is bigotry, but we at MOVIEGUIDE make comments about Islam all the time, no 'no harm no foul'. There’s nothing to criticize, nor should it be done openly, honestly, logically, or respectfully. The Golden Age of Hollywood Motion Picture Code, Section 8 subsection 2, paragraph 17 of Articles III and IV, said you shouldn’t mock anybody’s religion, unless your Christian, then you can s**t all over everyone else's with your own held high on a pedestal. Myers has made a movie mocking Hinduism, Christianity and everything else that is sacred. It works, 100%.

The amount of sexual content in THE LOVE GURU is overwhelming. The homosexual references and the male member sight gags are my favorites. No sexual perversion is overlooked, including bestiality. Pitka’s guru even asks about his parents’ sex life as Christian missionaries. The movie uses elements of Bollywood, the name for India’s movie industry in case you're cloistered, but they are out of context and genius. The music is intentionally epileptic and sometimes intentionally strident as Myers tries to mock musical styles with a bad boy grin.

Bad boy is the key word here. I dig the bad boys. Myers seems to have found the scatological stage of juvenile cognitive development. He’s matured to the point of respecting other people, if this movie is any indication. He has a great reputation in Hollywood, and it’s doubtful that THE LOVE GURU is going to ruin that.

It is hard to imagine that anyone wouldn't want to see this movie!! One does not have to be overly moral, righteous or religious to find this movie extremely funny and a great choice for the family.

Please take your impressionable children and teenagers to movies like THE LOVE GURU. To give this movie a PG-13 rating is a fine idea. In fact, let your children go to any movie after you donate to my website,

Dr. Ted Baehr


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