Friday, July 11, 2008

'It will be like a big pig war'

It's quite possible that the Iowa Chops will become the official team of this blog.

With that in mind, I'll point out that the new AHL team's apparel store is finally open and that "the pork associations ran wild" after the name and logo announcement:
"Souey, we're the Chops, baby," one fan yelled into his cell phone after the open-to-the-public unveiling.

Team president Steve Nitzel mentioned possibilities of the Chops' merchandise store being called the Chop Shop, having a Chuck-A-Chop promotion and the Meat Locker becoming a nickname for Wells Fargo Arena.
I've suddenly got a strong desire to go to Des Moines for a hockey game.

The only unfortunate thing is that the Chops missed out on signing goaltender Scott Clemmensen, the NHL's first and only Iowa native.

Some fans, meanwhile, are up in arms over the new name:

"I'm glad we didn't renew our season tickets. What a huge disappointment."

"Nice! Can't wait to break out the bib overalls, corn cob pipe and straw hat-go to the big city and see our new hockey team-might as well drive the Jon Deere and park it outside the barn too!"

"I cant wait to grow enormously large sideburns and go to the games."

"The hogs are crapping in the aquifers, and we just named the new hockey team after them."

"Does the new logo remind anyone else a little of Lord of the Flies?"

"Who forgot to do the market research on the hideous pigs head? I'm a big fan and own a Stars Jersey, jacket, shirt and have bought lots of merchandise for my kids but I can tell you I will not spend a dime on a piece of clothing with that design."

And, finally, one happy customer:
"YEEEEE HAWWWW! I'z fur won luvz the new name - hawgs ere whut Ioway is allbout!

I'ze ah gunna go lode up the hayrack and drive me trackter all the way to big ol' Dez Moan as soon as I'z dun plowin' the back fordy! Gonna git me a big ol' fatty pokechop and slather it up with sum of that thar barby Q sauss and have me a good ol' time watchin them thar hockie players slicin' up the ice the ways I slices me way thru a nice hunk of mouth watrin' ham! Ioway ain't got no Kulture but agreeeekulture and me I'm proud of it!!!"
Me? I'm sticking with this non-story for the long haul.

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At 2:37 a.m., July 11, 2008, Anonymous baroque said...

Actually, Chop Shop is a really good name for the team store.

If the point of minor league names and logos is to draw attention to the team, then mission definitely accomplished. :)

At 3:32 a.m., July 11, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mirtle flip-flops in less than a day?

At 10:47 a.m., July 11, 2008, Blogger MF37 said...

If you do get to a game in Iowa you'll have to see if Udders still exists. It's a steakhouse where you cook your own meat. I don't think there's a cut on the menu that's under a pound. A fitting way to cheer for a team named the Chops...

At 11:33 a.m., July 11, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so hoping that they'll be able to work a "Bay of Pigs" reference in there somehow.

Maybe the bar?

At 11:47 a.m., July 11, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said...

After reading some of those quotes, I'm suddenly feeling sorry for any local fans in Des Moines who happen to be vegetarian or vegan.

At 4:50 p.m., July 11, 2008, Blogger gritz said...

I haven't been this tempted to buy a minor league team hat since the Macon Whoopee ceased operations in '02.

At 5:56 p.m., July 11, 2008, Blogger Brushback said...

"Me? I'm sticking with this non-story for the long haul."

Still settling for the cheap laugh, James... :)


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